Cafeteria-comments Gifts

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'We like bright, new employees who aren't afraid to take some risks. By the way... how are those clam fritters?'

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

"My depression is currently being treated with a combination of prescription medication and low-fat frozen yogurt."

'Eating again. What's happened to your weight lifting?'

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

'First you feel shock, then anger, and finally remorse. It's the three stages of grief when buying the tuna sandwich.'

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

"At last...after so many missed days...so many cruel days apart...we are together once again!"

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

"Somebody found a finger in a salad?!"

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

"We use the cheapest ingredients and pass the savings on to you."

'Chocolate pudding to start...it'll deaden your appetite.'

"There's a fly in my soup."

"Well if bread's free, and gravy's free, how about bread and gravy?"

"What's this on the menu?"

'It's called ‘Shared Risk.' You taste the Okra Casserole and I'll try the Tuna Surprise.'

'Charles knew Tad was about to snap. Quarterly profits were weak, the network was compromised and now, Tuesday's Brussel Sprout medley in the cafeteria lingered through Thursday.'

"Principal Gomez! What are you doing here? Don't you in your office."

"Wanna trade an Easter ham salad for an Easter egg salad?"

"Mexican food?! This is America! I want pizza!"