Cafeteria Connoisseur Gifts

"Only one a day, my dear, that's my secret." (Man has giant glass of wine).

SWAT Team.

The economy's been recovering for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy … which means we still have time to get in on the despair action. "Despair action"? We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more "sale" items, debt consolidation loans ... Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy. Ha ha hoo hoo hee -

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

"What are you making, Norma?"

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"Yesterday's weenies have migrated in with today's nuggets."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

Selling lemon latt�

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

Wifi in Hell

"At this office no two days are different."

'These are job perks.'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I come here for the pepper."

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

Allegro con molto espresso

"AHHHH, MORNING!"