Cafeteria Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Only one a day, my dear, that's my secret." (Man has giant glass of wine).

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

"What are you making, Norma?"

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"Yesterday's weenies have migrated in with today's nuggets."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Selling lemon latt�

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"At this office no two days are different."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'These are job perks.'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Allegro con molto espresso

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I come here for the pepper."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Hats and Food

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."