Cafe Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Well, if there's gonna be another six weeks of winter we might as well sit down and have a drink, right?"

"How do you want your ids, Freud or Jung?"

Non-wall St merger: Mom's Home Cooking...Pop's Cafe!

What's the insect de jour?

'Slurping or sipping?'

We have the businessman's lunch which is �4.95 and the successful businessman's lunch at �7.50.

Sids Kafe, service with a smile - "Well, you can if you want to."

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'This is it sir, its a concept, pop up cafe, should I explain our philosophy?'

Santa School Cafeterias.

Backwoods Cafe: Speciality - Peanut butter & Log Jam.

'It is so nice to be able to take a break mid trip...'

'Our tuna salad baguettes are this big!'

'Excuse me, I ordered the all-day breakfast. This one lasted only twenty minutes.'

'Gossip gossip gossip: That's all they ever do at the coffee shop...'

'Do you have kind word?'

Protesting Asparagus

'Monsieur, in this café you've got to dance your order.'

"This song describes a small outdoor cafe near the river, where people stroll by in the summer, sit at little round tables, and have light sleds, fancy pastries and cold drinks. It is a commercial."

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"How was everything? You gave me a belly ache and my computer a virus."

Doughnut Criminals

Degas: l'iphone

"It's a coffee for when you'd rather be drinking tea."

Bob's so adventurous. Just last week he took me to a cafe that only had two and a half stars on YELP."

Humble beginnings of the International House of Pancakes

"It says '3 minute egg' but it actually takes 5 minutes."

I'm protesting. How can you call a small drink a big? How can I not? It's the new reality of marketing. All the cafes are doing it -- and not just the cafes, either. The key to success is to create your own reality. The president said today the budget deficit is getting smaller. Larger is not smaller.

"Yes, I'm sure it looked cute and clean, but I would sooner starve to death than eat lunch in a place called Jennifer's Biscuit."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"I can't wait for things to get back to normal."

Wifi in Hell

". . . Remember your old boyfriend from Pennsylvania?"