Coffin Connoisseur T-Shirts

"It's nice, but how do you adjust the sleep number?''

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

Counting ribs

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

I could have danced all night!

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

Selling lemon latt�

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Party Animals.

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"At this office no two days are different."

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Wifi in Hell

'These are job perks.'

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

Allegro con molto espresso

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."