Coffin Connoisseur T-Shirts

"It's nice, but how do you adjust the sleep number?''

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Counting ribs

I could have danced all night!

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Selling lemon latt�

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Party Animals.

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"At this office no two days are different."

'These are job perks.'

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Hats and Food

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"I love this time of day."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

Allegro con molto espresso

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."