Cafeteria Foods Gifts

'No thank you - I'm dyslexic.'

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

Cafe Burns.

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

"My depression is currently being treated with a combination of prescription medication and low-fat frozen yogurt."

"Oh yes, I proudly served."

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

'Eating again. What's happened to your weight lifting?'

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

"Don't think you can just put the on the costume and replace Jeff."

Biocafeteraologist

'First you feel shock, then anger, and finally remorse. It's the three stages of grief when buying the tuna sandwich.'

"Our food supervisor used to be a military cook."

'I burnt my hand in hot water.' - 'Why didn't you feel it before putting your hand in?'

"Somebody found a finger in a salad?!"

"Five kids have signed my petition. We'd like to have vegetarian options on the cafeteria menu. To help, I've put together a few recipes of my own."

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'