Cafeteria Foods Gifts

'No thank you - I'm dyslexic.'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Cafe Burns.

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

"My depression is currently being treated with a combination of prescription medication and low-fat frozen yogurt."

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

'Eating again. What's happened to your weight lifting?'

"Oh yes, I proudly served."

"Don't think you can just put the on the costume and replace Jeff."

Biocafeteraologist

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

'First you feel shock, then anger, and finally remorse. It's the three stages of grief when buying the tuna sandwich.'

'Too late. The spelling test was first period.'

"Our food supervisor used to be a military cook."

'I burnt my hand in hot water.' - 'Why didn't you feel it before putting your hand in?'

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

"At last...after so many missed days...so many cruel days apart...we are together once again!"