Café Culture Gifts

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'I wish they'd print the sizes in English.'

Garcons de Café

Scene of Grime murder in greasy spoon cafe.

'Wi-No Wi-Fi?'

'In what context do you mean 'Are you done?''

"Sorry for the confusion, but it's Poetry Night, not Poultry Night."

"We'll always hate Paris."

"Any of you pretty ladies just get my e-mail?"

"Is that decaf?"

"Let's see, now, that's cappuccino, cappuccino, cappuccino, and cappuccino—right?"

"As soon as Juan Valdez gets here I'll have my coffee black."

"The end is near."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"Damn To-Go punks!"

A customer eats a book in a bookstore cafe.

"Whole bean or ground relentlessly to dust?"

Lisa's cafe

"Coffee wants me."

"Unlike you, I don't have philandering tastebuds!!!"

"I've decided to take your advice and try something other than tea."

"You've been around for a very, very long time. Maybe you can answer this..."

"Are all old folks this superstitious?"

"A barista should always follow his instincts."

"Sir, your sitting here and drinking coffee while simply musing is making our guests uncomfortable."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I'm definitely picking marzipan notes... and dark chocolate, but also something that tastes like everybody hates me, and I'm shaking, and I've got palpitations."

A giant tip jar

'A cafe is just a failed restaurant really, isn't it?'

Anagram Cafe

"In a perfect world your toast would be done just right. But we don't live in a perfect world, do we?"

'I hope you don't mind, I simply can't start the day without a glass of my own urine.'

'Your double Impresso sir.'

"Oh no, our house has been turned into a coffee bar..."