Cafeteria Nostalgia Seeker Gifts

"Don't worry about serving chicken to a vegetarian, Carmen. We all make mistakes. I once mistook a mop bucket for a soup pot."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"I miss the old cubicles."

"We brought him into oversee our millennium menu...he did such a good job on the last one"

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"My depression is currently being treated with a combination of prescription medication and low-fat frozen yogurt."

'Fruitcake, pfefferneusse, we'd like you to consider early retirement.'

'Eating again. What's happened to your weight lifting?'

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

'First you feel shock, then anger, and finally remorse. It's the three stages of grief when buying the tuna sandwich.'

'Village store and Food museum'

"At last...after so many missed days...so many cruel days apart...we are together once again!"

"Yesterday's weenies have migrated in with today's nuggets."

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

"Somebody found a finger in a salad?!"

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

'In every office there's always someone who didn't get the message.'

"It's so weird being back in the office."

'You do realize that's just a giant novelty fork, right? They used to have one in the restaurant where I worked.'

"Well if bread's free, and gravy's free, how about bread and gravy?"

"We use the cheapest ingredients and pass the savings on to you."

'Charles knew Tad was about to snap. Quarterly profits were weak, the network was compromised and now, Tuesday's Brussel Sprout medley in the cafeteria lingered through Thursday.'

"He doesn't seem to be accepting retirement too well."