Cafeteria Nostalgia Seeker T-Shirts

"Don't worry about serving chicken to a vegetarian, Carmen. We all make mistakes. I once mistook a mop bucket for a soup pot."

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"I miss the old cubicles."

"I remember when this was all offices."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"We brought him into oversee our millennium menu...he did such a good job on the last one"

"My depression is currently being treated with a combination of prescription medication and low-fat frozen yogurt."

'Eating again. What's happened to your weight lifting?'

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

'Fruitcake, pfefferneusse, we'd like you to consider early retirement.'

High school sophomore Kyle Rimnard tests his theory that cafeteria meatloaf cures acne.

'First you feel shock, then anger, and finally remorse. It's the three stages of grief when buying the tuna sandwich.'

'Village store and Food museum'

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

"Somebody found a finger in a salad?!"

"At last...after so many missed days...so many cruel days apart...we are together once again!"

"Yesterday's weenies have migrated in with today's nuggets."

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

'In every office there's always someone who didn't get the message.'

"We use the cheapest ingredients and pass the savings on to you."

"It's so weird being back in the office."

"Well if bread's free, and gravy's free, how about bread and gravy?"

'You do realize that's just a giant novelty fork, right? They used to have one in the restaurant where I worked.'

"He doesn't seem to be accepting retirement too well."