Cafeteria Experiences T-Shirts

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

"I'd say business was brisk."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Coffee Menu

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

'It takes all day to eat it.'

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

"My depression is currently being treated with a combination of prescription medication and low-fat frozen yogurt."

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

'Eating again. What's happened to your weight lifting?'

'First you feel shock, then anger, and finally remorse. It's the three stages of grief when buying the tuna sandwich.'

"Somebody found a finger in a salad?!"

"Yesterday's weenies have migrated in with today's nuggets."

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

"At last...after so many missed days...so many cruel days apart...we are together once again!"

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

"Crumble an empire on that!"