Cafeteria Charmer T-Shirts

'I can never open those sachets of sauce.' (Thinks: I think she's falling for my saucy schmooze!'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'We like bright, new employees who aren't afraid to take some risks. By the way... how are those clam fritters?'

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

"My depression is currently being treated with a combination of prescription medication and low-fat frozen yogurt."

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"Yesterday's weenies have migrated in with today's nuggets."

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

"At last...after so many missed days...so many cruel days apart...we are together once again!"

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

"We use the cheapest ingredients and pass the savings on to you."

"Well if bread's free, and gravy's free, how about bread and gravy?"

'Chocolate pudding to start...it'll deaden your appetite.'

'It's called ‘Shared Risk.' You taste the Okra Casserole and I'll try the Tuna Surprise.'

"Principal Gomez! What are you doing here? Don't you in your office."

Bad For You: A Restaurant

"Your family is pretty messed up."

"Welcome to the alcohol-free, non-dairy, gluten-free, vegetarian, vegan cafe. May I take your order?"

"Tia Carmen?! What are you doing here?"

"Hey, aren't you the guy who faces everyone on the elevator?"