Cafe Chic Gifts

Medusa turning everyone in the 'Hard Rock caf�' into rock

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Today's special... donuts.

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Hats and Food

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

You've Had Enough!

Grandma's caf

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

'You've had enough!'

National Coffee Day

I demand to be recompensed for the 28.47 minutes of my time your café was wasted. What? There are 1500 square feet of seating space in this café. That is room enough for 125 people. 90 percent of Americans own a personal electronic device of some sort. The quotient of that ratio of people to electronic devices is 112.5. Dividing by two produces a quotient of 56.25. So you see, it's obvious why you owe me compensation for my wasted time. I have no idea what you're saying. You only have 55 electri

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

Coffee Menu

The American Tearoom, Moscow

Coffee