Cafe Chat Buddy Gifts

'I thought I was really stuck on Richard, but it turned out it was just static cling.'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'You've had enough!'

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"Could you repeat all that, I lost you at 'good morning.'"

Getting together to chew the fat.

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

"I'm dating a much younger guy....makes sense, my ex was a cheetah."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"I've been dating this homeless guy..."

'So how would you like your coffee...Small, Large or Intravenous???'

'Yes, it was love at first sight. Who would've thought that five years on, I'd be sick of the sight of him?!'

"Wow, I did not see that coming."

"Looks like Amazon is going to start delivering babies."

"Remind me what I was talking about—I wasn't listening."

'Well there hasn't been a ring yet! But he did say that we were going to look at bridle wear - so, I know what that means. . . he loves me, Joanne.'

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

'My life began at 40 but my credit problems had a huge head start.'

"I thought I was a writer, but it turned out to be a chemical imbalance."

No I haven't finished sulking yet!

"Life's a binge and then you diet"

"If I use twitter to communicate, does that make me a twit?"

"Why is it sooo difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking. . . ?"

"It's where I grew up, Diane. A sleepy little town where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and blogs about it 24/7!"

'I'm not concerned that coffee might keep me awake all night. I have credit problems that do that for me.'

'Do as I did - Learn to drink quicker.'

"Great to be back at the 'office', just a glass of water for me, thanks."

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'Hey let's see what 'Aroma Lattes' is like, Jill! I've heard the coffee here IS to die for!'

'Salt and pepper spray- this is a tough joint!'