Cafe Companion Gifts

"Life's a binge and then you diet"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"You're the lid to my pot."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"I heard they mate for life."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Countervailing Clichés.

Reading the sports pages.

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Salt and Pepper

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

'You've had enough!'

Coffee Menu

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

Running Latte

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

Man, I could destroy a chocolate donut with sprinkles right now

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

Best friends without borders.

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

"Are you as excited as I am?"

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

'Know something? Love IS wonderful!'

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

"Let's see, now, that's cappuccino, cappuccino, cappuccino, and cappuccino—right?"

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

Lunch

Waiter thinks drowning man is asking for 5 beers

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."