Bar Companion Gifts

"You're a good listener, I like a good listener."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Dolphin friendly tuna

"I heard they mate for life."

Reading the sports pages.

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

Man, I could destroy a chocolate donut with sprinkles right now

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

Best friends without borders.

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Ostrich Bar

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.

"Do they look tired to you?"

"I'm taking a creative writing class. I turned in my checkbook and got an A."

"Is that neat whisky?"

'That guy is SO tacky.'

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

Chairs - a bar where everybody has a seat!

"Do you know what girls want?"

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

"Listen, and I'll explain it to you again..."

'I'm an economist, but I try not to take myself too seriously.'

"Jim opened a bar in his cubicle. Before you shut it down, keep in mind that company morale has never been higher."

'If that's my wife, you're not in!...'