Caddy Chatter Pillows

"Let's not spoil it by keeping score."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Golf with a difference

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

'He's a man of few works. He likes to talk, he just has a limited vocabulary.'

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

'Where's my horse?'

Sunshine and exercise. Are you glad I suggested we go for a walk?

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

'When I want your opinion I'll sack you!'

Ladies' Game

"Jim, just put that hole behind you."

Turd golf...

'These are my 'golfing socks'... there's a hole in one!'

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

Kangaroo golf-caddy.

A close understanding between player and caddy is essential.

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

Old man plays golf, supported by his caddy and paramedic.

Golf

"Honey, please don't talk to Daddy when he's in a chat room."

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

You've got Don Bradman's average while playing Tiger Wood's game.