Caddy Quip Appreciator Pillows

'I don't think I am the worst caddy in the world... That would be just too much of a coincidence!'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

"Steamed vegetables."

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

'Oh Hi!'

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

Russia Money Laundering

"Touché"

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

Earthlings, show us your sporting interests. This is golf. Hit the ball with the club. This is tennis. Hit that ball with the racket. This is volleyball. Hit that ball with your hand. Hitting, hitting, hitting. It's all so violent. How do you relax? We hit the hot tub.

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

"Amateurs."

The Greek Trampoline

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

Noah's Ark/Single's Cruise

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."