Cactus Comedian Gifts

'Captured Peru '97. force fed. Light torture. Mail order. And yourself?'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

Cat Reunion

Cactus seats.

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

Cactus with muscles and dumb-bells on ground.

Thanks

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

Penguin

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'Have you had a brazilian?'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Hombre's Best Friend.

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

Litter Tray Stonehenge

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

"I hate it..."

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"I see you have extensive wood chuckery experience."

"You've definitely got water retention..."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper