Cactus Comedian T-Shirts

'Captured Peru '97. force fed. Light torture. Mail order. And yourself?'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

Cactus seats.

Cat Reunion

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

Penguin

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

Cactus with muscles and dumb-bells on ground.

Thanks

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

'Have you had a brazilian?'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

Hombre's Best Friend.

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

"I hate it..."

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

Macho Vegetarian

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"I see you have extensive wood chuckery experience."