Cabbage Crusader Gifts

'I'm putting you on a high-roughage diet - I want you to eat three heads of cabbage before every meal,'

Overworked in the office

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

'Wilkins! Keep your eyes on your own cadaver!'

Do not think outside the box!

Farmers' Warnings.

Whack, Out of Whack.

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

A crab finds an alternative to walking sideways.

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

"I miss the old cubicles."

Snowman with big carrot nose to one with small carrot nose: 'I'd increase your beta carotene.'

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

'This is a very bad report, Jenkins. Go to your cubicle.'

In the Fever Cubicle

'I do the work of three men...how about giving one of us a decent salary?'

'Oh come on, we all have our crosses to bear.'

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

'No, Stanworth, feeling sick of your job does not qualify you for sick leave.'

Still Here

'I want someone who'll not just take the firms line, but the hook and sinker, too.'

'Being omnivorous means we eat anything: That includes Brussel sprouts!'

The vegan hunter