Cultivation Crusader Gifts

Farmers' Warnings.

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"Are you sure you want to present your ideas in the form of an airplane?"

'There is no point in leaving civilization, because civilization will not leave you.'

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

Water scarcity in Africa

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"Wow, listen to that: "Do you have a pioneer spirit? Wolves needed for reintroduction into European National Parks"..."

Man in radiation suit with 'Fresh Farm Produce'.

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'So in summary, if you harpoon a whale enough it dies.'

Snowman with big carrot nose to one with small carrot nose: 'I'd increase your beta carotene.'

And when did you first begin to feel threatened and endangered?

Trees on the form of a map of the world, being eaten by an infestation of pests that look uncannily like humans.

"You bet I'm stressed, I can't stop imagining there's a poacher hiding behind every bush..."

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

Human Cull: People who leave their litter on the beach.

Closing down.

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

"How do I stop climate change? Tip 1: Insulate your house..."

"We're baitfish - we'll always be endangered."

"I remember when we wouldn't buy the bent knobbly ones. Now we pay twice as much for them."

"Yeah. Ever see those cell phone towers that look like trees?" "Dude. That beak..."

Mock cover of 'Landfill' magazine

'Yes, as dodos, we can't fly, but if we could only learn to climb trees, we would be safe from predators...'

'Iran offered us a deal -- we learn to pronounce 'Ahmadinejad'.....and they'll try 'Schwarzenegger.''

The vegan hunter