Business Politics Gifts

"The only way you'll get fired is if you don't spend your budget."

"I started out in scheming but wheedled my way up to backstabbing."

'When I'm at the office, I have to pretend I'm gay, just to fit in.'

They'll make me a chairman on the understanding I don't set foot in the place again.

'I understand yours is a highly coveted position in this company.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Schengen

'Now that I have your attention...'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

The Anti-Agent

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

British savings accounts

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options