Corporate Politician Gifts

"Excellent point Charles . . . Now if somebody more senior would like to make it."

"He's still out. Someone must have left the cage unlocked."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

"At the end of the day, I always feel I could have shifted more blame."

'Remember - Reilly's Chairman of the Board, but Henderson's the Alpha male.'

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

Scapegoat of the Year

'Here are some bonus checks. Distribute them unfairly.'

'You're closer to the Big Guy than anyone. Will you help us kill him?'

"I'm beginning to think they replaced the ladder of success with a greased pole."

Man carrying his boss.

Desk sign: 'Brown-nose'.

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

"Finally we have something in common...mutual distrust."

'Where's the petty cash?'... 'It's in the box marked Pension Fund.'

"Rumour has it that you're after my job."

'I didn't get the salary increase, but I've been moved one parking space closer to the entrance.'

'Not my short list, O'Neil! You're on my other list!

"You'll find I'm highly motivated and ambitious...oh, is this your desk?"

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

'I know...he must have taken a big shortcut on his career path.'

"I got the promotion. Instead of Wednesdays, I'm now the one who gets blamed when things go wrong on Tuesdays."

"Take the severance package, Hayward. The rest of the board wanted a ritual slaying."

'Just because you're smarter than me doesn't mean I can't always be right.'

Management buy-out.

"Yeah, but no progress in meeting..."

"Grunzman, I really appreciate you. I appreciate you to work somewhere else."