Corporate Politics Enthusiast Gifts

Middle Management.

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

The MBA Draft

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"At this office no two days are different."

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"We have an acronym!"

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

Parade of Businessmen

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

'When training my son, keep him totally ignorant. I'm grooming him to be VP in-charge-of -denials.'

"At the end of the day, I always feel I could have shifted more blame."

"I think you might need to start again."

'Remember - Reilly's Chairman of the Board, but Henderson's the Alpha male.'

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

'Underestimate him at your own risk. When he first came here, everybody laughed and said he didn't have a snowball's chance. Now he's our regional supervisor. Go figure!'

Scapegoat of the Year

"The scowl might just be what this place needs."

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

'Here you are, Simmons!'