Corporate Politics Gifts

"I believe I already know most of you from the drum circle."

"Take the severance package, Hayward. The rest of the board wanted a ritual slaying."

"Finally we have something in common...mutual distrust."

'Your proposal is innovative but threatens the status quo and therefore, my job. I'm shelving it until I retire.'

'You stood up at the meeting and disagreed with the boss? Wow, I bet there was quite a backlash.'

'The grievance committee never comes to me with anything other than complaints.'

'It's place-the-blame day. We'll start on my left and it'd better stop someplace before it comes around to me!'

'Just because you're smarter than me doesn't mean I can't always be right.'

"The corporate culture here? It's Junior High School without the acne."

"No, I'm not daughter - I'm V.W."

"At the end of the day, I always feel I could have shifted more blame."

'Where's the petty cash?'... 'It's in the box marked Pension Fund.'

'You're closer to the Big Guy than anyone. Will you help us kill him?'

"Rumour has it that you're after my job."

By not taking sides and staying as neutral as possible, Bob was safe – and virtually invisible.

Suggestion Box/Resignation Receptacle

'Even though I'm a shareholder, I really don't care what this company earns. I just love the intrigue.'

'It's good you called me when you did, Bill. Believe it or not, a little speed-bump like this can derail a perfectly good career if it isn't handled just right!'

"Congratulations! You've been promoted to next in line to be thrown under the bus."

Boot licking for dummies.

'You're all voting against me? Is this a coo?'

'Remember - Reilly's Chairman of the Board, but Henderson's the Alpha male.'

'Well, Jim, it appears you just put your finger on my one point of terrible vulnerability!'

'Hoskins, I'd like to congratulate you on your leadership initiative... and if I didn't feel threatened, I'd keep you on.'

Management buy-out.

"There's no secret to my success. Just plenty of good, old-fashioned nepotism."

"I worked my whole life to get to the top, only to find that I'm afraid of heights!"

'How come you're taking credit for work I do?'

The free and sovereign republic of the ninth floor.

"What a great day to be alive and not under indictment."

"I'll be your bitch at the finance meeting if you'll be my bitch with marketing."

"I'm beginning to think they replaced the ladder of success with a greased pole."

"Hey, didn't I meet you at the trade fair last June?"

'We've got trouble, Henderson - Your people got with my people and decided they didn't need us.'

"The buck may stop here, but the blame goes to the employees."