Corporate Politics Pillows

"I believe I already know most of you from the drum circle."

"Take the severance package, Hayward. The rest of the board wanted a ritual slaying."

"Finally we have something in common...mutual distrust."

'Your proposal is innovative but threatens the status quo and therefore, my job. I'm shelving it until I retire.'

'You stood up at the meeting and disagreed with the boss? Wow, I bet there was quite a backlash.'

'The grievance committee never comes to me with anything other than complaints.'

'It's place-the-blame day. We'll start on my left and it'd better stop someplace before it comes around to me!'

'Just because you're smarter than me doesn't mean I can't always be right.'

"At the end of the day, I always feel I could have shifted more blame."

"No, I'm not daughter - I'm V.W."

'Where's the petty cash?'... 'It's in the box marked Pension Fund.'

"The corporate culture here? It's Junior High School without the acne."

"Rumour has it that you're after my job."

'It's good you called me when you did, Bill. Believe it or not, a little speed-bump like this can derail a perfectly good career if it isn't handled just right!'

'Even though I'm a shareholder, I really don't care what this company earns. I just love the intrigue.'

'You're closer to the Big Guy than anyone. Will you help us kill him?'

Suggestion Box/Resignation Receptacle

By not taking sides and staying as neutral as possible, Bob was safe – and virtually invisible.

"Hey, didn't I meet you at the trade fair last June?"

"I'll be your bitch at the finance meeting if you'll be my bitch with marketing."

"What a great day to be alive and not under indictment."

The free and sovereign republic of the ninth floor.

"Congratulations! You've been promoted to next in line to be thrown under the bus."

Boot licking for dummies.

'Hoskins, I'd like to congratulate you on your leadership initiative... and if I didn't feel threatened, I'd keep you on.'

Management buy-out.

'Remember - Reilly's Chairman of the Board, but Henderson's the Alpha male.'

'Well, Jim, it appears you just put your finger on my one point of terrible vulnerability!'

'How come you're taking credit for work I do?'

'You're all voting against me? Is this a coo?'

"I worked my whole life to get to the top, only to find that I'm afraid of heights!"

"I'm beginning to think they replaced the ladder of success with a greased pole."

"There's no secret to my success. Just plenty of good, old-fashioned nepotism."

"How’s the coffee, Harding?"

"We could argue forever about whether or not that was justified.