Business Humor Appreciators Gifts

"On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate our product?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"I hate performance review season."

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

'I delegate, then I follow up.'

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'Here you are, Simmons!'

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

"My assistant will show you the ropes."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'He insists on being a part of the corporate pipeline.'

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"It's somehow comforting to witness a revival of the classics in motivational technique."

Personally, I always had a feeling we'd land on our feet.

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'