Business Casual Jokesters Gifts

"I'm Only here for the beer!"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"Any questions?"

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

Satya Nutella

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'...and so you see our profits, not unlike Sir Isaac Newton, have felt the effects of gravity.'

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

'I'm sorry, Henderson - But profits are down and we have to make sacrifices.'

"I see the downsizing continues."

'We want you to get us into the international honey market.'