Bureaucracy Bemuser Gifts

'For years, I've had Bobo take care of all my admin paperwork so that I can concentrate on my research: Nobody seems to have noticed...'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'Let's not go by the book.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Quality Control

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

"Here at Global Com we're looking for people can 'think outside of the box'..."

"I'm Necessity and this is my son, Invention."

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"Useless information"

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

Smoke and mirrors.

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."