Bureaucracy Bender Gifts

'I've been here 17 years... at the end of each day, I shred it all and no one ever noticed.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'What's wrong now?'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

Time for More Paperwork

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

The Buck Never Stops.

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"Useless information"

"We should have taken the cubicles."

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

"If you're really interested, talk to someone at corporate. They own my soul."

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

"The admin shouldn’t take more than 30 or 40 hours, then you’ll be free to get on with some work."