Bureaucracy Baffler Gifts

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

"And you sign here..here...and here.."

'That's scary! Death, taxes and the smiley-face symbol have merged into a super-agency?'

We have an unwritten rule here, Johnson: Never write down any rules.

You've reached the Internal Revenue Service. For training purposes, this call may be recorded by Satan.

Department of Counter-Intelligence. Department of Counter-Stupidity.

Federal Center for the Study of your Tax Return.

"You failed to enclose with your rebate form the correct tail feather from an extinct bird species so we are unable to process your request..."

Federal dept of reverse psychology: desk boxes reversed, OUT, then IN.

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Let's not go by the book.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Quality Control

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"Here at Global Com we're looking for people can 'think outside of the box'..."

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"I'm Necessity and this is my son, Invention."

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."