Bureaucracy Bewildered Gifts

"Weird. We have no record of having made you."

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Let's not go by the book.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Quality Control

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"Here at Global Com we're looking for people can 'think outside of the box'..."

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"I'm Necessity and this is my son, Invention."

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"Useless information"

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

Smoke and mirrors.

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."