Bureaucrazy Gifts

Do you remember when all we had to do was go to the filing cabinet and take out the file?

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Quality Control

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

"Ticket and passport, please."

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

'I'm not authorized to talk about that...I'll have to patch you through to our department of unspeakable evil.'

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

"You have a valid social security number, a photo ID, and a credit score. As far as I'm concerned, you exist."

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

"You're a bureaucrat, Ed. What do you mean you hate paperwork?"

Why the Egyptians stopped building the pyramids.

'So, you're a little Hitler? You're hired.'

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

"Hello, department of pointless endeavors and redundant futility."

Director: US Space Research.

I might have granted your loan request, if it wasn't written on a beer mat.

'What do you mean the FDA is going to start regulating the use of eyes of Newts?'

It's Not How Long It Takes, It's How Big It Is

Federal Center for the Study of your Tax Return.

Bureaucratic castle