Bureaucrazy Addict Gifts

"Look, if you can't stand the Byzantine intrigue, perhaps you should get out of the cabal."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

"Ticket and passport, please."

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

MI5 Press Office

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

Director: US Space Research.

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

'We're downsizing the Pentagon into a triangle.'

Auditor General.

"Now, there are just a few more forms for you to sign, and then we're done!"

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single travel requisition."

Congratulations on winning the Inland Revenue Fiction Award.

Washington Monuments

"Y formerly Department of Government Efficiency"

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

'The next disciplinary committee might not be so lenient.'

A woman sits in an office of the Food and Drug Administration in - out boxes marked MMMM Good and Oh - Bad.

"We have all kinds of Regulatory Guidelines floating around."

"Congratulations Dave, after a through vetting process, we've selected you for the promotion."

"The war's been cancelled. It would raise insurance rates."

'I'm afraid you're going to have to stay with us for a thousand years, but your sins are tax-deductible.'

'Do you want to see the folks from Prague all at once?' - 'No - separate Czechs, please.'

Federal Department of Disproportionate Force.

Man in office notices file cabinet placed in front of the door to the Planning Department.

"Are we going to start working with larger numbers? I want to work as a federal budget director."

"Your signature, Your Majesty, as well as your driver's license and a major credit card."

"We only do gentle embellishment here. Go down the hall and turn right for the division of bald-faced lies."

'The board voted 8-2 to wish you a speedy recovery.'