Bureaucracy Bemoaners Gifts

'What the hell good are new federal regulations if they don't have teeth?'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Quality Control

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

'I'm not authorized to talk about that...I'll have to patch you through to our department of unspeakable evil.'

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

"You have a valid social security number, a photo ID, and a credit score. As far as I'm concerned, you exist."

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems onto new NHS digital contract

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

Why the Egyptians stopped building the pyramids.

'There were some cost overruns on the project that we need to discuss.'

'The trouble with you doctors is that you don't really understand what the NHS is for.'

'So, you're a little Hitler? You're hired.'

"Hello, department of pointless endeavors and redundant futility."

'What do you mean the FDA is going to start regulating the use of eyes of Newts?'

I might have granted your loan request, if it wasn't written on a beer mat.

Federal Center for the Study of your Tax Return.

"To give him credit...normally I think these staff 'consultations' are a complete waste of time...but he's been in his office all morning working on our ideas."

It's Not How Long It Takes, It's How Big It Is

"Hi, I'm Hugo -- I'll be your compliance officer."

Captain of ship, surrounded by rough drafts and scrunched-up pieces of paper, says: 'Dammit bosun, we can't set sail without a coherent mission statement.'

Department of Infrastructure

'They want the medals back. Apparently, you used a Vicks inhaler before going over the top in 1916.'

Inland Revenue Awards - The next award is for the longest time it took to give someone the correct tax code.

NHS Very Direct: 'You have a terminal illness and are going to die. Thanks for your call.'

"Maximum security prison"

"I'm afraid as a result of managements' reorientation of forward facing patientcentric resource functions...you're going to have to make your own way to the toilet."