Bureaucracy Bemoaners Gifts

'What the hell good are new federal regulations if they don't have teeth?'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Quality Control

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

'I'm not authorized to talk about that...I'll have to patch you through to our department of unspeakable evil.'

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

"You have a valid social security number, a photo ID, and a credit score. As far as I'm concerned, you exist."

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems onto new NHS digital contract

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

Why the Egyptians stopped building the pyramids.

'There were some cost overruns on the project that we need to discuss.'

'The trouble with you doctors is that you don't really understand what the NHS is for.'

I might have granted your loan request, if it wasn't written on a beer mat.

'What do you mean the FDA is going to start regulating the use of eyes of Newts?'

Federal Center for the Study of your Tax Return.

"To give him credit...normally I think these staff 'consultations' are a complete waste of time...but he's been in his office all morning working on our ideas."

"Hi, I'm Hugo -- I'll be your compliance officer."

Captain of ship, surrounded by rough drafts and scrunched-up pieces of paper, says: 'Dammit bosun, we can't set sail without a coherent mission statement.'

Department of Infrastructure

'They want the medals back. Apparently, you used a Vicks inhaler before going over the top in 1916.'

Inland Revenue Awards - The next award is for the longest time it took to give someone the correct tax code.

NHS Very Direct: 'You have a terminal illness and are going to die. Thanks for your call.'

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

"I'm afraid as a result of managements' reorientation of forward facing patientcentric resource functions...you're going to have to make your own way to the toilet."

"Maximum security prison"