Bureaucracy Mockers Gifts

"Sorry, the NSA hasn't declassified the results of your physical yet."

Quality Control

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

"You have a valid social security number, a photo ID, and a credit score. As far as I'm concerned, you exist."

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

"You're a bureaucrat, Ed. What do you mean you hate paperwork?"

"We appreciate your insights Norman but the firm has reached the stage where we need actual ideas."

"Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing!"

'There were some cost overruns on the project that we need to discuss.'

I might have granted your loan request, if it wasn't written on a beer mat.

Excessive Paperwork

God's Office.

Bureaucratic castle

"To give him credit...normally I think these staff 'consultations' are a complete waste of time...but he's been in his office all morning working on our ideas."

Department of Infrastructure

'I'm pleased to announce the newly-created 'Office of Homepage Security' - to protect against computer hackers.'

'What the hell good are new federal regulations if they don't have teeth?'

"I chair the safety committee here, but since we're all dead, it's largely symbolic."

Insufficient Postage

Before we can rescue you...you need a safety check.

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

The new contract will give you much more power over your future...so here are some guidelines as to how you'll be allowed to use it!'

'I'm sorry, sir, this is the department of Immediate Dissatisfaction. Your appointment is with the Bureau of Eternal Frustration.'

'Of course you don't remember agreeing to see me regarding my time machine. You made the appointment next week.'

A dart board for the Federal Reserve's planning policy?