Bureaucracy Mocker Gifts

Firemen Help To Burn Down The Offices Of Inland Revenue.

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

"Best project manager we ever had."

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

NHS targets.

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

'In... out... in... out... in... out... in...?!'

"Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing!"

Mismanagement Consultant.

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

Federal Center for the Study of your Tax Return.

Too early to begin working on/Too late to do anything about.

"Patel confirmed"

'Of course we're making a lot of mistakes - this is a dummy corporation.'

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

"I didn't mind the moustache, Cosgrove, But we definitely have a 'No mustachio' policy."

"And you sign here..here...and here.."

"Now that we can talk, we have to have meetings."

Fishermen catch a fish paint a 'No Fishing' sign.

'I'm afraid neither your insurance nor your immune system will cover it.'

"The war's been cancelled. It would raise insurance rates."

Memo to all departments: NO!

"Just you wait until this firing freeze is over!"

Near-Death Excuses...

'I need my lifestyle validated.'

'How about this one? †'Everybody has to wear plaid socks on Tuesdays.''

'Would you mind if these junior managers have a go at assessing the profitability of your treatment?'