Bureaucratic Bafflers Gifts

I.R.S.: LIKE IT and LUMP IT nameplates on agent's desk.

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

The Buck Never Stops.

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

Bureaucracy gone mad!

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

Doctor surrounded by notes.

NHS targets.

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems onto new NHS digital contract

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT.

'In... out... in... out... in... out... in...?!'

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

Federal Center for the Study of your Tax Return.

"I think she's having a Spontaneous Paperwork Induced Collapse."

"Ambitions... to finish on the winning side for a change."

'All these stupid forms! -- You self-employed guys make me sick!'

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

"You need to put on some weight if you want to keep your job!"

The mazes were too easy, so now they have me running through bureaucracies and looking for grants. (Originally published on 2007-10-18).

"Someday my grant will come."

Bureau of Red Tape

"In principle we're happy with the trust idea...as long as it's properly monitored and regulated!"

'When I die, please cremate me and send my ashes to the tax office. . .Write on the envelope, 'Now, you have everything.''

Too early to begin working on/Too late to do anything about.

"Hi, I'm Hugo -- I'll be your compliance officer."

'You have a good chance of recovery, if you can make it through hospital admissions.'

'...or you could fill out this Form 666 and get a filing extension for all eternity.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but this particular loophole is only for the use of Federal employees.'