Bunker Master Gifts

"I hate sand traps."

'This is the hole I was telling you about!'

'Hole in one!!!!'

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

Brickie's Mate

"You'll get your sandbox back as soon as Daddy has practiced a few bunker shots!"

God in the bunker.

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

'It's a self-build.'

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"Just when they thought it was safe to go back in the water, the great fish emerged from below."

Warren knew the importance of getting down as low as possible to sight his putts.

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

Big Berts Brickmaking Academy

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

Safe harbour

When he runs out of beans, Lou discovers that civilization was not, after all, destroyed on January 1, 2001.

"Hurry up Ted, or are you going to spend all day in that bunker?"

"That's not a haboob. It's Ed trying to get his ball out of a bunker."

'Evidence is that increased extreme weather is due to climate change.'

It is important that the aspiring golfer learns the meaning of certain golfing terms, so that he can understand what his fellow sportsmen are saying to him.

"Well, that's the last of it, which means we just ate thirty years' worth of food in two weeks."

'I am preparing for 2013, and I suggest you do the same.'

"This will be your office. There's a flashlight and whistle if you need to attract attention."

'Charlie, you've been dredging your sand from the golf courses again.'

'Bunker? It should be called a trench because that's where the real war starts!'

"Stupid flu season."

"I'll stick to my survivalist bunker."

"O.K., doomer."

"Gerald. . . you need to stop stockpiling food!"

'SOME bunker this, eh?'

Today, our quest continues for someone who can come up with a solution for dealing with the partisan gridlock in Washington. In my day, we built bunkers ten feet underground and stocked them with tuna fish. We planned to sit out the apocalypse down there, eating tuna on crackers and playing Scrabble. Tomorrow, our quest continues ...

"I wonder if we might benefit from socializing more with those who don't harbor anti-government views."

'Sorry we're late, we had trouble finding you.'