Bunker Builder Gifts

"For seven years I used your rent to build our quarantine bunker."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"She's been so creative lately."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I found the termites!'

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

God's Subcontractors

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'