Bunker Builder Pillows

"For seven years I used your rent to build our quarantine bunker."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"She's been so creative lately."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I found the termites!'

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

God's Subcontractors

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

School of Art & Design. Looks like they're putting up an addition.

Sick Building Syndrome

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'