Bunker-building Dreamer Pillows

Analysts have said the US and Russia are closer to nuclear war than ever. The outcome of the election tomorrow will probably determine whether we live in mediocrity … or whether we suffer a nuclear apocalypse in which a crafty café owner, who's squirreled away scones and ammunition in a vast network of underground bunkers, could rise to become feudal warlord of a brand new world. So ... who are you voting for again? The person I've been preparing ever since 2nd grade to vote for.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

Rocking horse

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"First snowman?"

'Unforeseeable future site of Hainesmore Industries.'

Building giant sand pies.

'I hope it;s an express.'

"You'll get your sandbox back as soon as Daddy has practiced a few bunker shots!"

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

'See I told you the garden was big enough for a table and chairs.'

Trainset

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Toy White House built incorrectly.

Warren knew the importance of getting down as low as possible to sight his putts.

Safe harbour

Some buildings are just not meant to have roof gardens.

When he runs out of beans, Lou discovers that civilization was not, after all, destroyed on January 1, 2001.

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

When artists have day jobs.

Developers vs Planners

Z Frame Houses, Summer Cottage ideas that failed.

"Well, that's the last of it, which means we just ate thirty years' worth of food in two weeks."

Ambitions. . . To have central heating installed.

"This will be your office. There's a flashlight and whistle if you need to attract attention."

'I am preparing for 2013, and I suggest you do the same.'

'Which carries a more favorable interest rate, an auto loan or a home improvement loan? My mobile home needs a new transmission.'

"Make a note... Hot wheels engineering doesn't translate to the real world."

"Gerald. . . you need to stop stockpiling food!"

"And, that's the new extension for my new plasma TV screen."

"I'll stick to my survivalist bunker."

"O.K., doomer."

Today, our quest continues for someone who can come up with a solution for dealing with the partisan gridlock in Washington. In my day, we built bunkers ten feet underground and stocked them with tuna fish. We planned to sit out the apocalypse down there, eating tuna on crackers and playing Scrabble. Tomorrow, our quest continues ...

"Another self-build. . ."

'Sorry we're late, we had trouble finding you.'