Building A Bunker Pillows

Safe harbour

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

God in the bunker.

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Warren knew the importance of getting down as low as possible to sight his putts.

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

Analysts have said the US and Russia are closer to nuclear war than ever. The outcome of the election tomorrow will probably determine whether we live in mediocrity … or whether we suffer a nuclear apocalypse in which a crafty café owner, who's squirreled away scones and ammunition in a vast network of underground bunkers, could rise to become feudal warlord of a brand new world. So ... who are you voting for again? The person I've been preparing ever since 2nd grade to vote for.

"Hurry up Ted, or are you going to spend all day in that bunker?"

When he runs out of beans, Lou discovers that civilization was not, after all, destroyed on January 1, 2001.

'Keep playing like that and you'll strike oil!'

"Well, that's the last of it, which means we just ate thirty years' worth of food in two weeks."

"That's not a haboob. It's Ed trying to get his ball out of a bunker."

'Evidence is that increased extreme weather is due to climate change.'

It is important that the aspiring golfer learns the meaning of certain golfing terms, so that he can understand what his fellow sportsmen are saying to him.

'I am preparing for 2013, and I suggest you do the same.'

"This will be your office. There's a flashlight and whistle if you need to attract attention."

"Gerald. . . you need to stop stockpiling food!"

Today, our quest continues for someone who can come up with a solution for dealing with the partisan gridlock in Washington. In my day, we built bunkers ten feet underground and stocked them with tuna fish. We planned to sit out the apocalypse down there, eating tuna on crackers and playing Scrabble. Tomorrow, our quest continues ...

'SOME bunker this, eh?'

"O.K., doomer."

"I'll stick to my survivalist bunker."

"Stupid flu season."

'Bunker? It should be called a trench because that's where the real war starts!'

'Sorry we're late, we had trouble finding you.'

"I wonder if we might benefit from socializing more with those who don't harbor anti-government views."

Like Obama, But White

"They say that once you land in that bunker, you never get out."

I hate this bunker!

Worse bunker on the course!

'I hate this bunker.'

I trust you have planning permission! (Golfer in a bunker).

'Ok, heads up! I'm swinging my sand wedge, and - yes! - I hit it out of the bunker!'