Bumbling Burglar Fan Gifts

'Well then, which is it? Hands up, read the note or hand over the money? I've never been good at multitasking.'

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"I'll bet he knows what it's like to be a single working mother."

'No it's not him...mine's an Alsatian!'

'When you said he was very talented, I thought you meant in business.'

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

People chasing a street performer to give money.

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

Football party

Centaur: 'Oh BROTHER, there goes XENOS again! Always having to be the Centaur of attention!'

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

'We told you not to wear your bright red kid's party shoes out here!'

Crazy paving company.

"Is something funny, soldier?"

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

'Now, that's entertainment!'

"He does everything one could expect of a parakeet and more."

Tightrope Walker Over-Balances.

Rugby player searches on line for 'front teeth'.

Octopus Juggling Balls

'Take it outside!'

Man looking at window with beware of attack bird sign.

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

"Shall we bother with the sweet, chubby-chops?"

'Do you think it takes 10p?'

Honk if you love Jesus.

Talented Waiter

'If you don't stop playing that thing I'll go crazy.'

"The ice at the rink isn't smooth. I think the maintenance team slipped up."

The Juggling Effy Brothers at Lunch.

'Was I wrong in thinking that diamonds are a girl's best friend?'

"It started with his doctor prescribing him cycling."