Home Project Mishap Fan Gifts

'Trouble is he doesn't know the difference between lube and putty. . . Our windows fell out!'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"The invention of taxidermy."

'Still having problems finding day care?'

Scientists building a tower

It's all gravy.

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"Can you spare a few bricks ... I'm learning Karate."

Crazy paving company.

'Jimmy, what are you doing? The whole house will fall apart!'

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

A Cactus giving a Bulldozer driver a rude gesture as it is being knocked down for development

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

'He is our darts team captain,he always finishes on a double.'

Head in the sand.

'You paid the insurance bill, right?'

Bird's Mimicking the Three Little Pigs,

Avon lady (selling foundation cream) tapping a builder on the shoulder.

'All I said was,'do you want decking,sir?'

I have to let you go, Dobson. I've just found out you were hired because of a computer error.

'Bill, in the country it's a CELLAR not a BASEMENT! I won't come down 'til you use the proper term.'

"I've found the problem. Rodney isn't your ventriloquist dummy. He's your Siamese twin."

Character trucks #4 Pick-up.

'Before I bring it in,darling-don't forget you married JANIE Oliver and not Jamie!'

Big B: implode...explode.

"The ice at the rink isn't smooth. I think the maintenance team slipped up."

"Ms. Sherburn, could you bring me some scissors and another necktie please."

'I think it's time to clean out the refrigerator.'

"Ooh, nice! Hardwood floors!"

"Iron Chef, my ass!"