Maintenance Mishap Fan Gifts

"The ice at the rink isn't smooth. I think the maintenance team slipped up."

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

'He is our darts team captain,he always finishes on a double.'

"I found your problem. This is a horse."

Sling

"See? Right there - my wedding ring."

Head in the sand.

Broken legs and broken nose in the hospital.

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss)

I have to let you go, Dobson. I've just found out you were hired because of a computer error.

Root worker painting a unhappy face on the road.

Ned hated being famous: "Hey, everybody! It's the substitute weather guy who wore a green sweater on camera and looked like he had a hole in his body!"

Submarine emerges on top of building

Water Department Flood

'Trouble is he doesn't know the difference between lube and putty. . . Our windows fell out!'

"I've found the problem. Rodney isn't your ventriloquist dummy. He's your Siamese twin."

'Some things you just accept when you move to San Andreas.'

Tear Along this Line.

'What seems to be the trouble, Doctor?'

'Anyone for doubles?'

When Butt-dialers Talk

Victim of overzealous Heimlich Maneuver!

I think it's your suspension!

Episcopalian Flue Jab.

"There it goes again. That dang phone's here someplace..."

Elevator Out Of Order

'Have you tried switching it off and on?'

'That charge is for amy accountant because this job is going to put me in a higher tax bracket.'

'Will you PLEASE stop saying, 'could be worse.''

"I had a little fender bender on the way home. The fender is in 6th Ave., the bumper on the 5th ave, the door on 4th and the hood around the corner."

Family acid trip