Mechanical Repair Fan Gifts

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

'Well, that's fixed that.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

Back in a snap (chiropractor).

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

Tarzan mobile phone

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

"Renovating your bathroom?"

"If we remove the stalactites and replace some rocks, we could flip it for a profit."

Mower Repair

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

'As you can see, it's a bit of an emergency.'

'Well! Well! Look what the cat dragged home!...'

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

Toy repair.

"I found your problem. This is a horse."

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

'Drat! I better take her in. The check engine light just went off.'

'So...do you have any parts for a Classically trained Shakespearian actor?'

"Just relax and hold still."

'... But, I don't want to see the potential. I want to see the dream house you promised me.'

'All I said was,'do you want decking,sir?'

Campaign. And now I'd like to introduce the other half of the ticket! That's very risky. He's running with scissors.

'That's not going to start the car.'