Building Maintenance Professional Gifts

"So, who's doing bottom windows and who's doing top?"

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Sick Building Syndrome

Caution signs.

Yesterday I had an argument with the janitor of my building, and then last night I dreamed that he was chasing me with a large ball-peen hammer

Timber preservation

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

Fire door.

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

'If you could roll up your sleeves, go behind the screen and plaster the wall.'

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"That pigeon's at it again."

"Meow...."

Leaf blowers at dawn.

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

"Larry does all his own stunts."

Access Assessments

We're with the gutter cleaning service ….

"...there's honey all over the walls, a weird buzzing noise 24 hours a day and some weird broad at the end of the hall thinks she's the queen!"

"Does the co-op board have any idea when the elevators will be replaced?"

"It's the worst case of Sick Building Syndrome I've ever seen!"

'The Miracles of Suspension.'

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

Man's house has sign reading 'Sod the council'. His neighbour says: 'Frankly, I'm amazed you got planning permission.'

'This infestation is far more serious than I was anticipating.'

"It's just a hunch, but you may have the power set too high on your pressure washer."

Campus. It seems logical that when cleaning the statue of the dental school founder we should remove plaque.

Tub Canyon