Building Maintenance Gifts

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

'If you could roll up your sleeves, go behind the screen and plaster the wall.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Yardless: Please help

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Man using to much bug spray

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"The trees are laughing at us."

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

Sick Building Syndrome

Moses unblocking the toilet.

Caution signs.

The household cavalry

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

Timber preservation

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Lazy plumber.

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Fire door.

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."