Building Maintenance T-Shirts

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

'If you could roll up your sleeves, go behind the screen and plaster the wall.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

Yardless: Please help

Man using to much bug spray

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"The trees are laughing at us."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

Sick Building Syndrome

Caution signs.

The household cavalry

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Timber preservation

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

Lazy plumber.

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

Fire door.

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."